Alcohol isn’t my thing. I don’t enjoy the taste of it that much. It costs more than water. And there is too much variety. Honestly, it’s the same three reasons that I am not too particularly fond of soda either. So when I saw that Buffalo Wild Wings were selling a drink called the Down South Margarita, I threw up a bit in my mouth. It combined three things that I cannot stomach: Mountain Dew, Slim Jims, and alcohol. The lowest grade soda, with the lowest grade gas station food (fight me), and (probably) the cheapest alcohol. The perfect recipe for disappointment.
The Instagram post that made me aware of this drink...
This isn’t the first time that Buffalo Wild Wings committed an atrocity to the culinary arts either. Back in 2015 they produced a Mountain Dew flavored sauce for their chicken. Apparently, it was a citrus sauce that they used to cover their chicken. And no one liked it. Why they are obsessed with Mountain Dew, I will never understand.
Gross. Just why.
Honestly, it’s a pretty niche menu item. When I was looking up the drink online, there was no information out there. It was as if the drink itself didn’t exist. But I wasn’t deterred because I saw a picture that depicted the nightmare. However, I was a bit afraid that the drink wasn’t going to be at my local Buffalo Wild Wings, so I called in advance to see if they would be able to do it. And to my genuine surprise, they said yes! So I went into my car and left to drink this monstrosity after work.
However, despite my call ahead, the waitress wasn’t sure what the drink was and had to go ask the manager if they were able to make the drink. (Un)fortunately for me, they were able to get the “drink specs” and create the drink as similar as they could with the materials that they had in the restaurant. Honestly, much better service than I was expecting. So good on you Buffalo Wild Wings. I’m very impressed.
When the drink finally came out, I had the horrible realization that I was going to have to drink it. You know that feeling when you don’t realize something is happening until it starts to happen? The feeling as though a cinder block drops from your throat to your stomach? It was exactly what I was experiencing in that moment. The concoction had the distinct smell of Mountain Dew: a cloyingly sweet, artificial, citrus smell that has inspired me to slowly walk away from people who are viciously drinking it. And the color wasn’t much better. Mountain Dew has the distinct color of nuclear waste that has been left untreated for days on end, so it didn’t surprise me at all that the margarita took on the same hue.
A look of disgust. And curiosity. Bad combination.
I don’t know. Maybe I was being hopeful.
One of the things that concerned me was the Slim Jim garnish. I still remember when I had my first Slim Jim on a family road trip. My father promised that it was just as good as beef jerky and convinced me to try some despite my grimace after smelling it for the first time. My brother and I took a bit simultaneously and gagged right after. It felt like we were eating plastic and tasted like if someone took the essence of beef and rubbed it against a flavorless tube.
But going into it, I knew that it was going to be separate. Something to consume after drinking the beverage. My surprise when I saw that the Slim Jim was INSIDE THE DRINK. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT. WHY WOULD THEY LET THE SLIM JIM MARINATE IN THE MOUNTAIN DEW. WHY.
IT IS JUST SITTING IN ITS OWN FILTH. WHY BWW. WHY.
Fortunately, it ended up not impacting the flavor as much as I thought. But the flavor was... Just as good as Mountain Dew. Which is to say a disgusting, citrus-like beverage. And the worst thing about it was that it was already flat. Actually, it was worse because of the salt.
I don’t think I really knew what the ingredients of a margarita was before this, so I was caught off guard when I encountered the salted rim. I highly do not recommend putting salt into your Mountain Dew. Even in this concoction, it ended up being way too much of a contrast. Like I always say, salty and sweet flavors usually contrast with each other which makes for some interesting flavor profiles, but it’s clear that if you go extreme on both ends, you’ll end up with a monstrosity of very large proportions.
There was also a small deposit of salt at the bottom of the glass as well. I wasn’t sure if that was just what a margarita was, but it still made the drink more salty the more you drank. I could really only stomach about three-fourths of the drink before I had to stop.
My initial reaction after my first sip.
At this point, I thought that the Slim Jim had marinated in the drink for far too long, so I decided to take a bit of the meat stick. And honestly… It was underwhelming. I wasn’t really shook as much as I thought I was going to be since the meat had just tasted as bad as I remembered when I first had it. Not great at all.
The face of regret. The kind of regret that only comes from eating a Slim Jim.
Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this drink at all. Although I might not have as much experience, so you can disregard my opinion if you want. Just know that it just tastes like a worse version of the original soda and a strange experience overall.
Final Rating: 2/10. Please do not drink this.
Special thanks to Travis McElroy for making me aware of this monstrosity and to both Katie and Jed for suffering with me and recording reactions for me.
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