If there is one thing I love in this world (besides Jesus), it’s sandwiches. Pieces of bread married to various meats, cheeses, veggies, or jam? Sign me up, fam. Of course, philosophy class has ruined the idea of what can constitute a sandwich, but I digress...
When I heard about the KFC/Krispy Kreme Donut sandwich on My Brother, My Brother, and Me, I felt the sudden urge to eat the sandwich. The sandwich was released at the tail end of (what can only be described as) the chicken sandwich wars of 2019. Honestly, I’m not sure why they called it that since the only “new” chicken sandwich that came out that year was from Popeyes (or maybe I’m just missing something here?).
The sandwich comes with TWO, whole, glazed donuts and a chicken patty with “11 herbs and spices”. This already sounds like a recipe for clogged arteries, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I had resolve! And, apparently, too much time on my hands!
LOOK AT THIS STAIN ON HUMANITY
The only issue with this particular sandwich was that it was only going to be released in parts of Virginia and Pittsburgh. Which. Good for them. But I needed that sandwich. So I did what any reasonable human being would do in my situation, and I drove to the nearest KFC, asked for just the meat of the sandwich, then drove to Krispy Kreme and got the two donuts, and assembled it myself.
Almost just as good... Almost.
It might have just been a cheap imitation of what could have been, but I’m gonna call that a win in my book until I visit my cousin in Pittsburgh. Oh, and I also asked two of my other friends to eat the sandwich as well (thanks Katie and Sun-ho).
After we assembled the sandwiches, it was time for that first bite, and let me tell you... It tastes... Exactly how you would think it would taste. It tasted like a donut that was forced to marry a chicken sandwich, and this sandwich was their child.
Now, I know that there are several other places in the world that have used this combination with much success, but I honestly don’t think that they work so well together. Usually the sweet/salty combination is generally a good time, but I think my mouth just ended up being confused by the stark difference of flavors.
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FACE OF SATISFACTION TO YOU‽‽‽‽‽
However, after the initial bite, the sandwich started to grow on me. Like a festering mold. And the flavors just kept getting better and better... But I think that is also because I was trying to just focus on the donut portion of the sandwich instead of the chicken. Once the sandwich was fully consumed, I was left with a feeling of guilt and regret. Guilt because I made my body consume this abomination. Regret because my body will make me pay for it later.
It’s been about an hour and a half since I’ve eaten this culinary monstrosity, and I can still FEEL the texture in my mouth. I’m starting to get concerned. And my stomach is already upset.
So in conclusion, if you value your health, I would not recommend this sandwich. The first bite was not pleasant, but the remainder of the sandwich tasted pretty good. I will pay for my gluttony.
Final rating: 4/10
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