I don’t eat a whole lot of Pop-Tarts. I think the only time that I ate them was when I was in a rush to get to class in college, didn’t have any food, and saw a vending machine near-by. I always chose the same one: the cinnamon flavor because my mother claimed that it was the best out of all the flavors that they offered. And I think that I agreed with her as a child, so as an adult, I’ve only eaten that flavoring.
I digress. Ever since I’ve started writing for this blog, I’ve been getting some strange food collaborations on my Instagram advertisements or in my Google generated ads. One such ad came up on my Instagram feed that was showing the sale of Pretzel Pop-Tarts. By Johnathan Van Ness (of Queer Eye fame). Apparently, the Kellogg company wanted Van Ness because of their ability to “bring out the best.” And I can see how that could relate. Far be it from me to judge a queen and their kingdom.
It seemed like a strange collaboration, and honestly, Van Ness was way too excited about these Pop-Tarts in the commercial that he was in, but I’m a sucker for novelty foods.
Peep that "new" label fam.
I decided that because I was most familiar with the cinnamon flavor of Pop-Tart, I got the cinnamon flavor for the pretzel version as well. Now, maybe it’s been a while since I’ve gotten a box of Pop-Tarts, but when I was reading the box, I found something peculiar: four different recommended cooking styles for the Pop-Tart. There was straight out of the box (which I was most familiar with), toasted, microwaved, and frozen.
Please let me know if you eat your Pop-Tarts frozen. And why.
I knew about the toasted part (I mean, it’s in the name), but the other two were completely foreign to me. I didn’t even know that people ate their Pop-Tarts frozen. And the microwaving instructions seemed completely inane to me: “microwave every three seconds until warm.” Do they seriously expect their customers to just stay by the microwave and touch their Pop-Tart until it is warm? Well I did. So, I hope that I made the Kellogg company happy for following their sick and twisted rules of microwaves.
I ended up eating them in this order: microwaved, toasted, regular, and frozen.
Honestly, the worst part about standing in front of that microwave was the fact that the pay-off was so low. When I picked up the Pop-Tart, it essentially fell apart in my hand. I was holding the once part of the tart and the rest of it fell on the plate. To be fair, this was about what I was expecting when I put it in the microwave.
Can you tell that this is the microwaved one? Neither can I.
As for flavor, it didn’t change anything for me. It was the same old kind of Pop-Tart taste that I was used to but with a slight twist of salt. I just wish that the pastry would have kept its integrity during the heating process.
After the microwave, I decided to try toasted. Now, full disclosure, I’ve never had a Pop-Tart toasted. I just think it’s an unnecessary step in the whole process. I mean, if it’s already cooked and ready to eat, then why should I have to exert effort to change it?
In any case, I sucked up my pride and set it in the toaster for the shortest setting possible.
Once I got it out of the toaster, I realized why people toasted their Pop-Tarts. The pastry became flaky and gave off a very pleasant aroma that came out full force when the toaster oven opened. Unlike the microwaved version, the pastry became crisper and had more of a bite to it. The pretzel flavors were also enhanced to the point where it was easily recognizable as a pretzel layer. Spoiler alert: this was by far the best way to eat this kind of Pop-Tart. Honestly, if I didn’t see Pop-Tarts as an on the go treat, I would recommend sticking it in the toaster for a bit.
Tried to make it look aesthetically pleasing. But it's a Pop-Tart...
Next up, I tried the pastry without doing anything to it. This was the method of eating Pop-Tarts that I was used to, and, honestly, the difference between the two pastries were not too noticeable. I feel as though the pretzel idea was a gimmick that wasn’t really thought out to the best of its ability.
Really, it wasn’t anything novel. It tasted like a regular Pop-Tart with a slight bit of salt to it. Not an insanely bad combination but not an especially good one either.
Finally, I tried eating it frozen. I left it pastry in the freezer overnight (recommended time was 20 minutes) and had it as a “frozen treat” the next morning. Honestly, it isn’t that different than eating a regular Pop-Tart. It was just a bit colder. I was kind of disappointed because it said on the box that there was a “frozen treat,” but I didn’t really see a difference in the flavor profile from the original. Very upsetting.
In the end, I think that this was a completely unnecessary addition to this product. There was barely any change in the flavor profile of the original, so I really don’t understand why they thought they needed to make this product. Having it toasted is nice, but I feel like it’s too much hassle to toast them like that.
Work required < eating payout.
Final Rating:
Microwaved – 4/10
Toasted – 8/10
Un-touched – 5/10
Frozen – 5/10
I may or may not write an addendum if I buy the other flavor, but I doubt that I will eat that.
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