Taco Bell is probably the fast-food franchise that I know the least about. Mostly because it is further away than most fast-food restaurants near me, but I digress. What I can say is that this is officially my third time going to Taco Bell, and I can already feel my stomach-churning.
This time, Taco Bell released a new Double Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito. Another monstrosity hiding in the ruse of innovation.
First Impressions
Honestly, I didn’t think that much about it. I assumed that it was going to be like everything else on the Taco Bell menu and pushed it aside for other food adventures… But then I remembered that I have no idea what the Taco Bell menu tastes like.
The extent of my knowledge is a tiny chicken taco and my Crunchy Chicken Taco experience. Sure, I could just write it off as another generic way for Taco Bell to get money, but I wouldn’t even know what it tastes like for me to judge properly. So, when they announced that they were doing a Double Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito, I decided that I must at least try and taste it.
One greasy amalgamation of stomach problems.
Because how do you know if you truly regret something if you never experienced it in the first place?
Issues
So, the main issue I faced when eating this is that I can’t eat steak. I’ve mentioned this before, but for some reason, my body just straight up rejects beef and pork. It’s like if you put a CD on a record player and then expect the CD to be fine when you put it in a proper player.
My fix for this was… Ask a friend to help me out on this one. Which worked out great! I had a bite of the Double Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito (which will just have to be enough in this review), and I can just eat my non-beef option to compare.
The First (and only) Bite
Let’s be honest, if you’ve had this item before, you know it looks and tastes like a sensory overload. It almost seems like it is going to rip at the seams, but the melted cheese keeps everything in place until it eventually implodes on itself due to the massive amounts of crap they put in the wrap.
What I can say is that it does taste okay. I mean, I’ve certainly had worse in the realm of “tex-mex” fast food, but that isn’t really saying much since a lot of “tex-mex” food is not that appealing.
But I think if you buy this expecting a lot of meat in the burrito, you’re going to be very disappointed. Even if there was a massive amount of meat in the burrito, the only thing that I could taste was the cheese and sauce that they used to fuse everything together.
According to their online menu, they include chipotle sauce, sour cream, and nacho cheese sauce. All of which overpowered any kind of meat flavor. Which just begs the question, “why is it even there in the first place?” And with that, I’ll go ahead and point you to…
The Grilled Cheese Burrito
Because I was unable to eat a full Double Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito, I decided to get the Grilled Cheese Burrito instead because it had all the same ingredients in it, sans the beef. Theoretically, it’s perfect for me, but in reality, it just showed me the flaws that came with the Double Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito.
I think I accidentally took a picture of its bottom. But it was just as greasy, trust me.
Without the visual indication of the chunks of beef, it was almost impossible for me to discern between the two. It was like looking at a set of twins and knowing that one of them is slightly more attractive based on an arbitrary trait. Or maybe that’s just me. I’m not sure since I haven’t met a lot of twins.
In any case, it’s quite clear that the Double Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito just isn’t worth it. I think that if you were looking for a similar experience, you can get it by just getting the slightly cheaper version. I mean, why wouldn’t you do that? This way, you can get a Baja Blast or some other weird Taco Bell item.
Final Rating
Double Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito: 4/10
Bonus: Baja Blast
I feel like every time I mention Taco Bell to a certain group of people, they mention that I must get a Baja Blast. Which is kind of like a fancy Mountain Dew? According to their menu, Mountain Dew Baja Blast is supposed to take all the essence of a tropical storm (supposedly named Josh. Sorry to all the Joshes in the world) into a drink.
Hurricane Josh coming in to finish off this mediocre meal.
As to the actual flavor? I have no idea. I’ve asked all of my friends what it could possibly be, and they can’t tell me either.
I mean, I guess I could do some research on the internet about the subject, but I feel like my research would become inconclusive anyway since I can’t really discern what original Mountain Dew is supposed to taste like either. And I feel like any research that I do will entail the consumption of a lot of Mountain Dew. No thanks.
Regardless, I still had no idea what I was drinking. I mean, it was slightly refreshing like any carbonated drink, but if they were going for refreshing, I don’t think they should be advertising it to be akin to a hurricane. If anything, I was expecting a sharper taste than what I got. But nope, I think I’m just going to have to be okay with being disappointed in this flavor.
I guess the question is, “would I get this again?” and the answer is no. Never again.
Baja Blast: 3/10
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